Whats up players? It's only been a bit since I threw some knowledge your way but times have been rougher then the toilet paper I've been getting from 7-11.
I know what you're thinking, "Boosh, why don't you just go downstairs to Starbucks and take a dump there like you normally do?" Well if you read the post and already forgot, let me remind you. I moved. The only store close to here is 7-11 and the highest grade TP they've got is a 4 roll for 2 dollar special of Charmin. This has taught me one thing. If you're at a grocery store, remember to pick up some of that extra soft stuff. Theres a time to be savin and a time to be spending, but when it comes to wiping your ass you should spare no expense.
I'm sure people who know me are asking yourselves "why doesn't he just ask his girlfriend to pick some up?" There's a short answer to this one - she's fed up with my shit. It seems the easy express has decided to stop short and they're kicking off the only passenger on it. Sure, the rent is cheap and I get a lot of alone time, but when it comes time to cut the brown snake loose I'd be better off using a sock. Like the song says, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone," and nothing makes that more clear then wiping your ass with some glorified sandpaper.
I give Charmin zero stars and i'd give 7-11 less if that were possible. They have the nerve to sell their taquitos and week old hot dogs with no regard to what happens later. Sure, your mouth might say yes, but your ass will bitch about it later, I'll tell you that much. That Obama promised some sort of change and I think I just might have found the place for him to start.
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