Going through tissues like Wilt Chamberlin through ass

What's up players?? Been a while since I sent the knowledge train out your way, but lifes been given it to me in all holes and it's hard to type with that sort of thing going on.

Well, the dream's over.  I told you that I got dumped last time, and boy was I right.  She wasted no time in moving on, but I'm just gonna keep that one wrapped up until I can write about it without wanting to smash something.  I'm a little bit lonely these days, but lucky for me I moved into a studio in downtown LA, so I've got the rats and cockroaches to keep me company.

Now, I've been through some stuff in my life where it seemed like I was down and out, but boy does this time sure take the cake.  I know what you're thinking "Boosh, you got a sweet bachelor pad now, aren't you plowing through ass like you were William 'The Refrigerator' Perry goin through linebackers?"  Well, the short answer to that is no, I'm not.  The only thing I'm bustin through is fucking toilet paper when I get back from stealing internet from somewhere, and letting some porn load up on the computer.

This sweet pad I got isn't really turning into the love shack I imagined.  It's more of a masterbatorium.  I don't want to give you the idea that I'm just sitting here tuggin my hog like I'm trying to pull the thing off my body, because I'm also drinking, crying and listening to music.  Boy, is it a sweet existence.

The highlight of my time here happened today, after I cleaned the books out of my trashcan.  I had just enjoyed some nice illegally downloaded pornography when I got up and remembered I had to dispose of the evidence.  As I was walking to the bathroom I let loose a Wilt Chamberlin inspired skyhook.  The balled up toiled paper sailed through the air, dancing in the winds of bus exhaust that flows through the windows, only to land squarely on top of the empty beer bottles in the trashcan.  

It's almost two months into 2011 and that's the highlight of my year.  I really got to get my shit together.  I live on the 12th floor now and if things keep going how they are you're gonna find me embedded into the sidewalk sooner then later.  I gotta get my internet fixed.  This imagination ain't what it used to be.